he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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