you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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