Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
