I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
