Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
