There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
