when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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