i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
