he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think people are normalizing furries
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
