can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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