JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
