Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
