I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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