one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
