I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
