what day is it and did you see me today?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
