my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wish my penis had a tongue
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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