I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
