omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
