Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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