look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
