Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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