I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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