are you still at the devil's house?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
