So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
