Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i permit you to call me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
