girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
