It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
