I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
