You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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