Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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