i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
