Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
