I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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