onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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