Im at strip club and am horny
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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