bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
