Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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