is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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