you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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