Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
