you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
