Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
