So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
