i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
