and she was petting her beer can
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
