Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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