we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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