"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let's get the cat blown out
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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