oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
