Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
