Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry grozzo801 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

Fav 12 4514 826
share tweet
(856): View more from New Jersey

I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.

Fav 28 5484 1513
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...

Fav 22 3893 1015
share tweet
(438): View more from Quebec

that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage

Fav 12 1629 4765
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone

Fav 13 6127 1432
share tweet
(310): View more from California

she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.

Fav 10 3271 1461
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.

Fav 5 1620 3214
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.

Fav 1 713 401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.

Fav 0 68 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT